Drooling Yet?

Yeah, I know how to bring it in the kitchen. ;)





Did you notice my new catering company name stamped on the photo?

Why I Need Breakfast in the Morning

Today I started out the day in a great mood, however, now at the late hour of 9:00am, I am ornery.

To be very frank, I hate lazy idiots! Sadly, there is nearly an entire team of arrogant, idiotic salesmen in my company who don't know how to use their brains effectively. For instance, this morning I get an email from a sales rep who wants to know the venue information of an upcoming training. That information is on our website, but whatever, so I tell him the name. I get a response back asking for the address, phone and website of said venue. HELLO!?! Do you not have the internet? In the time it took him to write the response he could have Googled it and found it himself (which is what I had to do to find the info).

I was very close to asking him if I needed to send an IT guy down to fix his internet. Instead I restrained myself and said "Everything is online and very easy to find, however, here it is:" Hopefully he read between the lines and saw that HE IS AN IDIOT, but because he is an idiot, he probably didn't see anything wrong with what he did.

Ugh. As a warning to you all: if you have a really stupid question to ask me that you could easily find the answer to yourself, do not even think of wasting my time, especially before I've eaten breakfast.

Wedding Planner: The person you pay to be stressed out for you

I have been MIA for the past few months. I did think about writing, and then I thought about how I had nothing to say.

Life is going about the same as always for us, busy and crazy. As can tell from the Elegantly Expressed blog, we have had a good amount of weddings. They have all turned out well, though some were more insane than others.

I have been getting more and more into the wedding planning aspect of things. It's much more difficult and requires an insane amount of patience, effort, organization, and time. As I am naturally rather bossy, it works out well. However, the wedding I did on Nov 27 was enough of a challenge to convince me that had I been a novice, I might have died.

For this particular wedding I was hired on towards the end of the planning process as a "day of coordinator". This means that the bride plans everything, gets all her vendors, and does most of it herself but hires someone to make sure everything runs smoothly that day. It usually involves some decoration, some floral design, and a lot of energy. I am truly convinced that this is much more difficult than if I have planned the entire wedding. Even though I'm hired for "one-day", I am not only working the wedding day, but also the whole week before to coordinate schedules with the florist, the cake decorator and the caterers and various other types of prep work.

This wedding day was sort of a mini disaster. I was in charge of decorating tables, chair sashes and overlays, and a chocolate fountain with all its yummy dipping foods. Everything I was supposed to do turned out awesome, but because I wasn't able to recommend my preferred vendors, the ones the bride contracted were sub-par and over-priced.

First case in point: the florist. This supposedly professional florist was paid very well for specific items and to deliver and set-up, but the week before, the florist claimed to not know she was supposed to deliver them. She was going out of town and it was impossible. Let's pause for a moment and discuss professional responsibility: IF YOU TAKE ON A WEDDING, YOU ARE BEING HIRED FOR THAT DAY! YOU SET IT ASIDE IN YOUR SCHEDULE. IF IT CONFLICTS WITH SOMETHING ELSE, DON'T TAKE THAT CLIENT! Okay, excuse my rant. I called the florist and informed her that the flowers would be delivered and I would be expecting them at 4:00. She could not refuse.

The flowers arrived at 4:00, delivered by the florist's sister who knew next to nothing of what she was doing. She expected me to put all the centerpieces together, but I didn't get paid for that nor did I have the time so I kindly asked her if she could take care of it. She spent the next hour on the phone as her sister walked her through everything she was supposed to do. I thought the flowers looked good (not knowing was was expected by the bride) and sent her on her way. Soon after, the mother of the bride arrived and promptly freaked out about the centerpieces. They were supposed to have 6 calla lilies in each of them. Instead, they had 3 callas and a huge bunch of bear grass. I explained that I would be happy to help if desired, but there was little I could do about missing flowers.

Ten minutes later I get called away from my current work again because there was no cake topper. They had ordered a cake topper of white flowers but the florist hadn't brought one. I had to create something for it so I rounded up a couple of spare flowers and created an elegant topper. I was actually amazed that it looked as good as it did.

The caterers in the kitchen had no idea what they were doing and had brought none of their own equipment. They kept asking me where various things were and if I had any of what they needed. That frustrated me because I was also catering the chocolate fountain portion and I always bring everything I will need with me. Then, they left early before everyone had a chance to eat and took all the food with them. I couldn't believe it.

Because this was a Hispanic wedding, a Mariachi band was hired, but the singer's mic was way too loud and he was always flat. I had a headache within minutes. Oh, and to top it all off, during the dancing, the DJ got super annoying by cutting out in the middle of EVERY song and making people sing a couple lines A Capella. I can understand the occasional YMCA, but after ten songs like this, it gets really old.

Despite the drama, the actual reception went really well. The mother of the bride was so pleased with my staff and I that she gave us a very large tip. However, the next morning I awoke with a very nasty cold, obviously the result of stress. Such is my life.

My next wedding is a bit of a risk for me in a number of ways, but we can discuss that later. In the meantime we will just cross our fingers. :)

Bridal Etiquette: Chapter 1

The day dawned with a glorious light, deceiving me into thinking it would be a marvelous day. I awoke early, anxious to finish my big task of sewing table runners. The morning sun peeked through my living room curtains and the machine stitched away as I watched a revival of Saturday morning cartoons eerily familiar to those I watched 20 years ago. Strawberry Shortcake and Transformers graced the TV bringing back forgotten memories of childhood.

The revelry collapsed with the last stitch and reality crashed back as I rushed to accomplish everything I had to do. The next hour was comprised of running up and down the stairs to and from the basement to make sure everything was remembered, put in a box and checked off the clever inventory list I had created the day before. With the last wire and lantern in place we continued with our duties. Running to K-mart in desperation, I found the perfect black button-up shirts for all three of my employees (the boys) and ran to finish loading the trailer.

By 1:00 we were on the road to Salt Lake City, ready to conquer another wedding. However, the traffic was against us and we didn't arrive until nearly 3:00. My poor boys carried 8 heavy pillars up two flights of stairs. Luckily, the other things fit in the elevator. We rushed to put up two backdrops, hang lanterns, put on chair covers and ties and set up the chocolate fountains.

At 6:00 the reception was set to begin. As I was adjusting the chocolate fountains, I glanced over at the main floor, only to see a member of the bridal party attempting to move the backdrop back a foot. I recoiled in horror as my carefully crafted waves of fabric and yellow drape were pulled apart, leaving the pillars stripped, like bare bones. Running across the room, my frustration evident on my face, I approached the bride.

"What is going on?!"
"My dance floor isn't big enough. I need a bigger dance floor"
"Couldn't you have moved the tables back?" To this I received a blank stare. "Well, it's broken now, I have to fix it."
"Well, I didn't like where it was, so I had to move it....." She continued on her selfish mumbling as she sauntered towards a bridesmaid who would probably assure her that moving the backdrop one foot back was the right thing to do.

Tears stung my eyes as I grabbed my duct tape, the only tool available to me, and began my attempt to hurriedly fix the sad disaster. Behind me I could hear the bride exclaiming that her reception was supposed to start 10 minutes ago. Thoughts of frustration and hurt whirled through my eyes threatened to spill down my cheeks in the form of tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept working. When it looked mostly decent, I ran back to the fountains to ensure they were running correctly.

And now to the bright spot of the evening: the chocolate fountains ran perfectly. Even when they were low on chocolate, the rivers ran evenly down the sides in a lovely cascade of brown satin. The only thing missing was the other food. I had not been contracted to do any of the dipping food. I looked around for one of the surplus bridesmaids and inquired as to who was in charge of the other food.

"Oh, uh...I don't think anyone is. We just thought, that, it would...kinda happen..."
Kinda happen? Really? It was immediately evident that they had expected me to do all the food. The bridesmaids huddled and realized that they were the only ones who would do it, so they scuttled off to the kitchen where Alexander was melting chocolate.

Please imagine your most typical valley girl voice direct at my patient husband: "Aren't you the caterer? Why aren't you working? None of this food is done!"

"Actually, I'm a decorator and I'm melting chocolate. We were not contracted to do any of the other food besides the fountains."

Finally, the food was brought up on platters by girls with scowls on their faces. Such lovely girls. We soon realized that they didn't have anyone clearing tables either, which flabbergasted me. It wasn't my job, but I decided to help, so I cleared off the tables and attempted to make the situation better.

When it came time to dance, no one but the bride was interested, so she kept going up to the DJ and telling him to announce different dances that would make people dance. "And now, for the dance of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen to dance together..... And now for the dance for the bridal party that everyone must dance...." etc. It was sort of hilarious. I could have promised her that no one would dance, but some brides insist on everything being exactly the way they imagine it.

I have decided that I really must write a book about bridal etiquette spiced up with excerpts of my exciting job. Does anyone else have any funny stories about wedding etiquette gone wrong?

All in a Day's Work

I am exhausted, but very proud of myself. I did a wedding today that had a new, very difficult feature. It had a dropped ceiling, and it actually looked good. It took a massive amount of time to figure out exactly what would be the best way to put it all up, but in the end we did an excellent job. The credit really should go to my best brothers, Bryce and Tyler who spent a good 5 hours working on the project with me. New things always take time to learn, and now that we know what we are doing we can cut the time in half for next time.

I am really excited to have a new product to offer my clients, and I feel that I can now have a really competitive edge. While I was putting the finishing touches on the room, the woman with the cake came. She looked around at the decorations and was really impressed. She told me that she is getting married in August and she loved my decorations so she got my name and phone number and promised to call. Awesome!

Anyway, tell me what you think!

Introducing: The Wedding Planner

*I apologize in advance for the long post*

Let me tell you about my job. Not my full-time Corporate Event Coordinator job, but my "part-time" wedding planner job. I have recently been accused of doing a job that "anyone can do" and of being a "cultural hall decorator" (which was said disdainfully and thus I take to mean that they think I have low quality decorations and no taste). In this post I hope to be able to enlighten my friends and family about what I am actually committing to when I take on a client. Hopefully I don't bore you to death with the tedious details. My job is a lot more complicated than simply putting up Christmas lights in a cultural hall.

I love, absolutely love, being a wedding planner/decorator. It has become a major passion in my life. My absolute goal is to always make the wedding better than the bride imagined it would be. Sometimes I am limited by the bride herself, but I strive nonetheless. If some of the weddings I have done are less than perfection it is only because I have been restrained by clients with small budgets and low expectations. I get giddy when a bride leaves a consultation really excited for her wedding. It means that I have done my job right and am earning my paycheck.

I have discovered that in order to be good at my job, I need to be really in-tune with my perceptive skills.

Before each consultation I take a careful study of what outfit I should wear. Because I have already figured out what kind of a person they are, I try to dress in a way that will gain the confidence and respect of my potential client (a consultation is simply a long, fancy advertisement to convince people to "buy my product"). I can tell when some brides want an over-the-top planner, like the ones they see on TV, and so I dress in classy (expensive-looking) black with modern accents. Some brides are shy and afraid of being intimidated. These people I try to connect with on a friend level and will wear trouser jeans with a hip blouse and dangling earrings.

Between the time I first talk to them on the phone and when we meet for a consultation, I need to have already developed a sense of who they are and what they want. In most cases I have only talked to them for about 10 minutes on the phone before they show up at my house. However, 8 out of 10 times I know which backdrop they will love and choose before showing them a single picture. I judge how well I am doing by how many pictures I need to show them during a consultation.

This is all before they even sign a contract! Getting a client to sign and commit is the number one, hardest part of the job but once it's signed, we celebrate. Getting a sale is cause for celebration for anyone in this tough economy.

With a signed contract and deposit in hand, I then proceed to buy the most expensive looking materials for the cheapest price. I am a highly-valued club member of Roberts, Michael's, and JoAnn's. I always shop with a 40-50% off coupon in my hand and at Robert's the cashiers know me as "the wedding decorator". I roam up and down aisles that I have been up and down dozens of times, trying to get my mind to work up a better way to make something new. At Michael's the staff now know that I'm not lost and that I will probably bug them about getting in 15 vases when they only have 2 in stock.

The week before a wedding I go crazy. Literally. I have 3 different lists and my work load ranges between 3-15 hours of last minute projects. If I am lucky the boxes are loaded, in the car with minutes to spare before driving at break-neck speeds to get to the venue on time. Once we are at the venue things are great if it is only me and my crew there. If family or (heaven-forbid) the bride herself is there, the stress level jumps about 10 notches. The average wedding takes about 3 hours to set-up, despite the fact that we run everywhere we go and I have 3 helpers. It just takes a lot of time. Sadly, about 2 hours of that I am standing on a ladder with my arms above my head trying not to poke wire underneath my fingernails.

Once the wedding is set-up I breathe a sigh of relief and pray nobody touches anything until I return that evening. I have been known to seriously lose my cool if I return to clean up and find tablecloths on the floor and LED lights missing. I just remembered that I forgot to include that clause on my contract: "Everything stays where it is until Elegantly Expressed returns to clean up that evening. I don't care if you ended 2 hours earlier than you thought, that is not my problem. You will sit and wait until I arrive before you even THINK of touching a table or a pillar."

Each wedding I do brings an immense satisfaction. I love being a part of the most important day in most couple's lives. It is a blessing to be able to contribute to their happiness.

So thanks for those of you who support me with encouraging words and positive comments. And those of you who think I am an amateur? Please tell me if you find anyone more devoted to their job than I am.

Shar's Wedding

I have known Sharylann for years, we used to work together planning conferences and workshops for a university. Her wedding was so exciting to plan, and it was a blast to be able to take part in all of the preparations.

Shar's colors were red and black with a real modern twist on traditional elegance. I think this wedding actually turned out to be one of my favorite's. We put up our most popular backdrop, draped it in gorgeous red (just like the for the Valentine's Dance) but I added some extra swag to the front to create a more graceful effect. To add a modern twist, I also added red and black spangle branches that I used in the centerpieces. It really tied the room together nicely.

The backdrop behind the cake was draped in black with a shiny red ribbon running through it. I loved it! It turned out perfectly . :)

In a clever attempt to decorate a blank wall, we put up large frames, scrapbook paper, and Shar's bridal pictures to create a collage effect and dress it up a bit. In the end it really added a lot to the room. Kudos go to Alisyn for making it look so awesome. This was her project and she mastered it. What would I do without her?

On top of decorations, we also provided two fountains, one chocolate and one nacho cheese, oh and of course the punch fountain. I have to tell you how much the guests raved about the food! I even found comments on Facebook about how great it was. :)

All in all, it was a really fun event. In the end it's really all about making the day as perfect as possible for the couple getting married, and it's always wonderful to have a hand in that.

Main Backdrop:


Cake Backdrop:



Pictures on the Wall:


The Tables:


The Room:


Finally, the food..somehow the chocolate fountain didn't make it into this picture, oh well:

The Valentine's Dance

Tonight Alexander and I hosted a Valentine's Dance for the Elders Quorum (and their wives). It was a very successful evening and everyone had a lot of fun. I created a great play-list with a variety of songs that made for the perfect dance. We also decorated the joint a little bit. I really enjoy decorating when I can do it the way I want it to be. :)

Here are a few pics of the night:

Some of the Decorations:









My cute parents who volunteered to babysit all the kids:



Everyone got their pictures taken in front of the backdrop, including our guest DJ's, my brother and his adorable girlfriend:



Oh yeah, and I get to do it all again tomorrow night for a Stake dance... ;)

Fountains of Cheesiness

I did a wedding on Saturday that was a little bit different than I have done before so I thought I would share it with you. As you know, in addition to my regular decorating, I also do Chocolate Fountains. I had a client whose dream was to have a cheese fountain at his wedding. He didn't care about anything except the cheese. His fiance was a little skeptical, but after consulting me, she got really excited. I gave her some ideas of the food that could be served with the cheese and she signed a contract right then and there. I was a little nervous, having never put anything other than chocolate in my fountains, but I read online that it could be done (everything online is true, right?) so I went forward with the idea.

While the cheese obviously didn't run as quickly as chocolate does, it was still pretty cool to see. Men literally started drolling when they saw it. People were taking pictures and wishing they had one for their Super Bowl parties. All in all, it was a good experience. It should be interesting to see if this idea catches on.

2009 is Out of the Gate and Running at Full Speed!

I just realized that it has been forever since I have posted anything here so I've decided to tell you that I am exhausted. For some reason I just can't get my act together. Oh well.

Do you ever feel guilty about reading blogs of people you don't know? For example, maybe you click on your friend's blog, and they have a link to someone else's blog and even though you don't know them you read it anyway, cause you are bored? Sometimes I do that. And then I feel bad. However, I am totally addicted to somebody's blog and I don't even know them. It's like their life is the most interesting soap opera and I have to catch all the episodes. I think I must be so lame.

I have a wedding coming up this weekend. I'm not doing very much for it because they are having a carnival reception. Popcorn, cotton-candy, and those little games; my mom would have killed me if I had done that for my wedding. Really all I am doing is providing a nacho cheese fountain. Apparently this is the latest rage, but it sounds a little unappetizing to me, or maybe I don't like it because I know that by the end of the night I will be covered in the stuff. Just so you know, I also think chocolate is disgusting due to the excessive work I have done with my chocolate fountains. The very smell of melty chocolate makes me ill. I'm glad that so many other people like it though, I need the business.

The Bridal Fair is coming up in a few weeks. My booth will look beyond awesome! My colors are a bright pear green and robins egg/light teal. It is totally modern, chic, and adorable for spring! I am using white paper lanterns and creating a chandelier effect with them using colored LED lights. The show is on February 7th, you should all come and say hi :)

Other than all of that, my life is kept busy with job searches (if someone has a job for my husband, please let me know!), podcasts, convention planning, Elders Quorum activities (I am planning a Valentine's Dance!), and oh yeah, my full time job. I should really chill out a little more, but I know that's not going to happen anytime soon. ;)

Just One of Those Blah Days

Lately I've been just a little bit bummed. I feel like I don't really fit in anywhere outside of my home. There are all these little groups around me and I am by myself. I'll give you a few examples:

In my ward: I am one of maybe 5 women in the ward (and that includes the very newly married) who doesn't have children and is not pregnant. Plus, most women don't work, so they find it inconvenient when I tell them I can't help cause I work full time. They have their little click-ish play groups and spend all day talking and eating homemade cookies while they watch their kids play.

In my family: My sister is getting married in November. All the girls (except me) are bridesmaids and my brothers are groomsmen and they are all wearing matchy matchy outfits. I was told it didn't matter what I wore, and by that I take it to mean it doesn't matter if I am even there. I understand that married women are not bridesmaids, but I still feel incredibly left out.

My friends: Okay, first of all, I don't see my friends very often but when I do the talk is all about babies and kids etc. Which is fine, I love babies and kids, I just don't have any of my own to proudly display and discuss.

At work: I just feel awkward. I feel like people don't get my jokes or my personality and my comments are not funny and fall flat. I also feel like my opinions don't matter and that I don't have enough experience to be taken seriously.


I don't know, maybe it's just been a blah day and the craziness of this week is wearing me down. I may be overreacting, but I don't feel like I am.

Opinion Leaders

My company has a new book out entitled, "Influencer". In correlation with this book, they are also offering trainings on how to become an Influencer. Everyone in the company must take the course, and last week was my turn. It was a good class, focusing on goals and changing something you haven't been successful at changing (there were many things on my list). You can pretty much count on hearing more about this topic later. However, one of the concepts that stuck out to me the most wasn't even a main topic. It was all about convincing Opinion Leaders to go along with your idea, and thus change something in your company, family, etc.

Okay, so I honestly didn't care much about convincing opinion leaders, I just wanted to become one. An opinion leader is someone whose opinion is valued by everyone around him. An opinion leader is sought out by his friends and colleagues and is highly valued and respected.

Wouldn't it be cool to be someone that everyone goes to for ideas, input, and opinions? It's not really the idea of being popular that appeals to me, it's the idea that of being perceived as being knowledgeable and wise in your circle of influence.

If you are like me, you will want to know how to become an opinion leader. Here are some steps to achieving that goal:
First, you have to possess a great deal of knowledge in the issue at hand. Second, you have to be trustworthy and care more about other people's best interests so you are not seen as manipulative. Lastly, you have to be generous with your time. Take time to talk to others and be accessible.
If you do these things correctly, you will be both respected and connected. :) *(Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan, Switzler; Influencer; pg 153-154)



**By the way, these authors are experts. They are also my bosses, the top CEO's, or as we call them, "The Authors". On Monday, two of them took me and 2 other new people out to lunch to get to know us and see what we thought of the company. They instantly won my respect and it was nice to see people practice what they preach.

3 in 2 for 1

I have had three job offers in the past two days. It's like manna from heaven, except for I can only choose one job. I felt very blessed when I was able to comfortably accept the job that I did, with no regrets. It is a wonderful company and even though it didn't pay the most, it does feel like it is the best fit for me.

Now, if only we can get Alexander a new job...

Awesomeness!

I decided that I wanted to go back into event coordinating, so on a whim I started looking and applied for two jobs. I got phone calls for both of them yesterday, and subsequently had two interviews this afternoon. After the interviews I was exhausted, irritated, and I just wanted to go to bed. However, tonight I had book club at my home so I had two hours to bake and decorate a cake, clean my kitchen and living room, and convince myself that I could keep going throughout the night. Book club went two hours, and now, finally, I can relax.

The bright spot of my night was hopping onto my podcast site and seeing a thread of things that need to be changed to make the show better. In a post discussing how I had replaced a woman who had been ill this was said:

It's most sad to see Kelly disappear especially if it's for health reasons, and it's in fact quite worrying that we haven't heard anything at all. But to be fair I think Annalee makes for a better replacement on the panel. Not that Kelly is a bad host (au contraire, I love her to bits like everyone else), but there was too much goofiness and cutsieness on the show with her and not quite enough substantial discussion. Annalee OTOH brings a bit more balance: she's somewhere halfway between Kelly's silliness and my seriousness, which does the show a world of good. If/when Kelly comes back you may have a real problem -- I certainly wouldn't want to kick her off but I for one wouldn't want to lose Annalee either...

I was shocked, but oh so delighted!!! They like me, they actually like me!

A Push in a New Direction?

Today a woman in my ward, whom I rarely speak to, came to visit me. I invited her in and offered her a seat on the couch as I sat across from her and tried to guess why she was there. With a look of total embarrassment, she asked me if I would be interested in being a co-owner, or even a managerial-type employee for her flower shop that she was re-opening. I was, quite frankly, shocked. Not knowing her exact intention, I informed her that I had no monetary resources to pour into this business, and that as co-owner, that would normally be expected. She was slightly taken aback and quickly apologized saying that she understood why I would think that, but she did not need anything like that from me. She simply wanted my advice, skills, and help to restart her business.

Having gotten that out in the open, I was more comfortable to continue the conversation, and figure out why a woman who barely knows me would ask me to be a co-owner of her business. I told her that I was flattered by her offer, and that it was nice of her to think of me. She replied in the most surprising way, saying, "I don't think it was my own idea. I only know that I trust you implicitly and that I felt I needed to ask you to be involved."

This one stuck, hard. Putting aside this interesting tidbit about her trusting me (which I still can't figure out), this whole week I have been focusing on transitioning. I was even thinking about going back to school for a second bachelors degree in graphic design. I had been looking for new opportunities, trying to find the right way to proceed, and all of a sudden this woman knocks on my door. I am scared in a way. It all seems bigger than I can handle.

So, I already know that I won't be a co-owner of any business but the one I already own, but it might be interesting to be an employee and get my hand in a new skill. Especially since being a florist ties so nicely with being a wedding planner and decorator.

So, I have some thinking to do and sadly I have a headache. It is going to be a long night. In the morning I am substituting for my mom's 1st grade class because she is having a hip replacement tomorrow morning. I AM TOO TIRED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT SO MANY THINGS!!! I am scared of this decision, nervous about my mom, and terrified of 20 six year olds on the last two days of school. Will this week ever end?

Subbing

After reading Alisyn's blog latest blog entry, I decided to share my exciting adventures from the last two days.

I decided to substitute at my mother's school both Thursday and Friday for a second grade class. I arrived early Thursday morning prepared to take a beating, but was surprised to see a young woman already in the classroom. I stopped in my tracks, thinking that I had mistakenly entered the wrong room. It turns out, however, that she was the student teacher! No one had told me about this! So the deal was that I got to sit and do absolutely nothing the entire day while she taught and handled the class. AWKWARD! However, it turned out to be okay. She was very nice and told me to read a book or something and that I didn't need to worry about a thing. So I did what she said. I felt VERY guilty getting paid for a full day's work (2 days actually) when all I did was read. However, that's the way it goes. District rules.

The kids got used to me just sitting and reading but most were too shy to say anything to me, they just smiled and did a little wave. One child though came over to where I was to use the stapler.
"What are you doing?"
"Just reading"
"Are you really reading that?!" (the book is pretty big)
"Yup"
"Why?"
"Cause I wanted to"
"Huh..."
The child, with confused face and freshly stapled paper, then walked to his desk and sat down to ponder the wonders of the world and why someone would want to read a book that big.

The last half hour of Thursday the secretary "borrowed" me to go and teach the music class. It happened to be a sixth grade class and the lesson plan that day was to be an animator and while listening to Beethoven's 5th draw a picture of what the music reminded them of. When they had finished they got to watch and see what the animators of Fantasia had thought of for the same music. Cool idea. The kids were a riot! I had some of them share their ideas and pictures with the class. I hadn't told the kids the name of the piece of music beforehand, but one boy drew a picture of Beethoven pounding on the piano cause he said the music reminded him of Beethoven, even though he didn't know who composed the song. Another boy drew a picture of a unicorn whose droppings were rainbows. He said the music didn't remind him of unicorns but Fantasia did. I thought that the world would be a much better place if the cats and dogs of my neighborhood had droppings that were rainbows. At least my garden area would be colorful (lousy cats!!).

Today was just as delightful and I had fun spending time with my mom. I got to eat lunch with her and spend recess in her classroom! By the way, I think it's cool that if you are the teacher at an elementary school you get recess too! I definitely need a job that offers recess at least twice a day.

My Last Day of Work at UVSC

Twas my last day of work and all through my desk,
I was packing and rummaging and sorting the mess.

My files were all empty, the binders all full,
And I couldn’t help feeling a calm, peaceful lull.

My coworkers were settled with a larger work load,
And I was anxious to leave, lest their glares grow too cold.

With the stress almost off me and life bright ahead,
I knew I would sleep easier when I laid down for bed.

When from the back office their arose such a clatter
I sunk down in my chair, knowing I was the matter.

Out from the back office they flew like a flash,
Susan, and Karen, and Connie all dashed.

The look on their faces were sure to afright,
As I sat and I tried to look sorta contrite.

When what to my terrified eyes should appear,
But a meeting agenda and three hideous sneers.

With the entrance of three others in new power suits,
I knew in a moment my near victory was mute.

More evil than devils they sat in their chairs,
And they covered my figure with critical stares.

“Now onto the fighting and manipulative war!
We each have to win and we’re each taking score!

We came to attack you before you can flee,
(We had to come early, as you’re leaving at three).”

I had flinched when they shouted and swore in my head,
But I put on my game face and nodded instead.

Throughout the whole meeting the whippings ensued,
And I nearly screamed in frustration before it subdued.

Two hours later and painfully tired,
The devils all left and I officially retired.

But before I got far I was heard to exclaim,
“Goodbye all you suckers!” (And I fled with no shame).

A Step Into the Darkness

I am a chicken.

I quit my job on Friday. I sent my boss an email putting in my two weeks notice and now I am terrified to go to work in the morning. I have no idea how my boss will react and I am afraid of how my coworkers will treat me the next few weeks. My only ally has gone and so I am left alone to face the wolves.

I am also terrified about the future. I always have a difficult time with transition and major change. I don't like not knowing the next step in my journey. I have always been afraid of the dark, and this has required me to step out of my comfortable light into uncertainty.

I don't know where I am going, but I think I will be spending most of the next few weeks in meditation, trying to decide the direction of my next step.

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be solid ground to stand on or you will be taught to fly."

Author Unknown

It's just my job, not my life

"It's just my job, not my life " - Annalee B. Strub, Aug 2007

This has become the most quoted quote in the office (Yay for the popularity award!). Sadly, there is a real reason why it is the current favorite. Everyone wants to quit! "Everyone?" you may ask? Yes, everyone and we are trying to make ourselves feel better about it. Warring Deans and VPs (aka political meanies) are ruining our peaceful world of conference planning. For a long time we have been able to run our little place by ourselves and decide how to do our own conferences, but now people who should have better things to do are sticking their unattractive (it's true!) heads into our business.

Even worse, this crap is leaking down from the upper levels and infiltrating our own office. People who love their desks and the corner they work in (me) are getting moved to the black hole of the department, into the old ladies room. Surprisingly, this is where they put the employees who happen to be old ladies. The boss claims she is moving me because she hired a new employee who is in a wheelchair and MY desk is the only one that's accessible. This is simply not true and I can only assume that she wants me where she can keep her ever constant, ancient eyes on me.

Okay, I admit that this sounds an awful lot like I am complaining. However, I am actually undergoing valuable psychiatric treatment that will enable me to go back to work tomorrow morning without my head exploding. So thank you readers, for putting up with this rant.

Oh, and P.S. - If you by chance know of a job that won't make my head explode please recommend me to the boss. :)