Bridal Etiquette: Chapter 1

The day dawned with a glorious light, deceiving me into thinking it would be a marvelous day. I awoke early, anxious to finish my big task of sewing table runners. The morning sun peeked through my living room curtains and the machine stitched away as I watched a revival of Saturday morning cartoons eerily familiar to those I watched 20 years ago. Strawberry Shortcake and Transformers graced the TV bringing back forgotten memories of childhood.

The revelry collapsed with the last stitch and reality crashed back as I rushed to accomplish everything I had to do. The next hour was comprised of running up and down the stairs to and from the basement to make sure everything was remembered, put in a box and checked off the clever inventory list I had created the day before. With the last wire and lantern in place we continued with our duties. Running to K-mart in desperation, I found the perfect black button-up shirts for all three of my employees (the boys) and ran to finish loading the trailer.

By 1:00 we were on the road to Salt Lake City, ready to conquer another wedding. However, the traffic was against us and we didn't arrive until nearly 3:00. My poor boys carried 8 heavy pillars up two flights of stairs. Luckily, the other things fit in the elevator. We rushed to put up two backdrops, hang lanterns, put on chair covers and ties and set up the chocolate fountains.

At 6:00 the reception was set to begin. As I was adjusting the chocolate fountains, I glanced over at the main floor, only to see a member of the bridal party attempting to move the backdrop back a foot. I recoiled in horror as my carefully crafted waves of fabric and yellow drape were pulled apart, leaving the pillars stripped, like bare bones. Running across the room, my frustration evident on my face, I approached the bride.

"What is going on?!"
"My dance floor isn't big enough. I need a bigger dance floor"
"Couldn't you have moved the tables back?" To this I received a blank stare. "Well, it's broken now, I have to fix it."
"Well, I didn't like where it was, so I had to move it....." She continued on her selfish mumbling as she sauntered towards a bridesmaid who would probably assure her that moving the backdrop one foot back was the right thing to do.

Tears stung my eyes as I grabbed my duct tape, the only tool available to me, and began my attempt to hurriedly fix the sad disaster. Behind me I could hear the bride exclaiming that her reception was supposed to start 10 minutes ago. Thoughts of frustration and hurt whirled through my eyes threatened to spill down my cheeks in the form of tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept working. When it looked mostly decent, I ran back to the fountains to ensure they were running correctly.

And now to the bright spot of the evening: the chocolate fountains ran perfectly. Even when they were low on chocolate, the rivers ran evenly down the sides in a lovely cascade of brown satin. The only thing missing was the other food. I had not been contracted to do any of the dipping food. I looked around for one of the surplus bridesmaids and inquired as to who was in charge of the other food.

"Oh, uh...I don't think anyone is. We just thought, that, it would...kinda happen..."
Kinda happen? Really? It was immediately evident that they had expected me to do all the food. The bridesmaids huddled and realized that they were the only ones who would do it, so they scuttled off to the kitchen where Alexander was melting chocolate.

Please imagine your most typical valley girl voice direct at my patient husband: "Aren't you the caterer? Why aren't you working? None of this food is done!"

"Actually, I'm a decorator and I'm melting chocolate. We were not contracted to do any of the other food besides the fountains."

Finally, the food was brought up on platters by girls with scowls on their faces. Such lovely girls. We soon realized that they didn't have anyone clearing tables either, which flabbergasted me. It wasn't my job, but I decided to help, so I cleared off the tables and attempted to make the situation better.

When it came time to dance, no one but the bride was interested, so she kept going up to the DJ and telling him to announce different dances that would make people dance. "And now, for the dance of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen to dance together..... And now for the dance for the bridal party that everyone must dance...." etc. It was sort of hilarious. I could have promised her that no one would dance, but some brides insist on everything being exactly the way they imagine it.

I have decided that I really must write a book about bridal etiquette spiced up with excerpts of my exciting job. Does anyone else have any funny stories about wedding etiquette gone wrong?

All in a Day's Work

I am exhausted, but very proud of myself. I did a wedding today that had a new, very difficult feature. It had a dropped ceiling, and it actually looked good. It took a massive amount of time to figure out exactly what would be the best way to put it all up, but in the end we did an excellent job. The credit really should go to my best brothers, Bryce and Tyler who spent a good 5 hours working on the project with me. New things always take time to learn, and now that we know what we are doing we can cut the time in half for next time.

I am really excited to have a new product to offer my clients, and I feel that I can now have a really competitive edge. While I was putting the finishing touches on the room, the woman with the cake came. She looked around at the decorations and was really impressed. She told me that she is getting married in August and she loved my decorations so she got my name and phone number and promised to call. Awesome!

Anyway, tell me what you think!

Yay for Spring Bridal Fairs!

On Saturday I was able to participate in my fourth bridal fair. Like all the fairs before it, I suffered from lack of sleep and mild insanity. It seemed like everything was against me last week. I started out sick and behind the game, and I never really caught up. However, everything worked out.

I decided to play with the same color scheme as the last fair mostly because I love it so much. I decided that this was the only time I really got to do something fun my way, so I lived it up. I used the teal blue and lime green and added a touch of summer with dashes of coral. Oh how I loved it! I also tried out a different look with the backdrop and I liked the end result. Apparently my booth was one of those love it or hate it things, because one really rude girl exclaimed very loudly about how ugly it was. Oh well, I don't accept clients like that anyway.

We had a blast throughout the day. I was able to do some much needed networking with other vendors and, of course, met some awesome couples. I am very pleased with the end result and now I have my work cut out for me as I line up consultations and work out the crazy summer schedule.

Here are some pictures of the booth:





I was very proud of this one, as I put it together all by myself :)

Random Reflections

I have been so busy the last few weeks. I love being busy because it makes me feel like I am useful and that I am contributing to something. Unfortunately, this kind of busy has left me exhausted and vulnerable.

On Wednesday, without any warning at all, I got very sick. I thought it was a sinus infection because I had a sinus headache and all the bad stuff that goes with it, but then I think it turned into the flu and I have been rather miserable. Along with the sickness comes a forced break. I haven't done ANYTHING in 3 days! My house is a mess, my husband is forced to eat like a bachelor again, and my to-do list is getting longer and longer.

I cannot stand being forced to sit and do nothing for days on end. The only thing keeping me confined to bed is that I feel really yucky, which sounds like a lousy excuse to me. Out of desperation I finally called my mom yesterday to ask her for advice on miracle treatments to make me better within the hour. She didn't have any, but she did reprimand me for not telling her I was sick. Two hours later she was at my door with a pot of homemade chicken soup and fresh homemade bread! My mother is amazing!

So I sit here alone while my ever-faithful husband is at church fixing other people's problems. I have just run out of orange juice and I am trying to be reflective and religious while in my pajamas. It is Easter after all, the special day when we remember Christ's atoning sacrifice for man-kind. I am struck by the fact that the pain and sickness that I am currently enduring, Christ also suffered for me in Gethsemane, so that He would best "know how to succor His people." This is such an important piece of knowledge for me; it brings such comfort, yet it makes me sad that there are so many others who do not have this knowledge.

How blessed I am to know that Christ lives and to know that He is aware of me in my trials, however small they may be. I pray that we will each feel His spirit with us in our daily lives, whatever our current situations may be.

Despite my runny nose and cough, I cannot help but proclaim in my heart, "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God!"

I Was Good, I Promise!

And that is basically all I have to say about our trip to visit the in-laws last week in Phoenix. I was good. It almost killed me, but I was good...mostly.

Sebastian (Alexander's brother) came home from his mission in Atlanta on Thursday so we drove down there to see him before life becomes busy for him again. It was pretty good. Despite that I had horrible allergies that turned into bronchitis, it wasn't a bad trip.

On the down we stayed in Vegas in the Stratosphere and while we were eating lunch in the restaurant at the top, the fire alarm went off. I had visions of running down 110 flights of stairs, but luckily it was a false alarm.







On Thursday we went to meet Sebastian at the airport. We thought we were 10 minutes early, but Sebastian's plane had arrived early as well. We got to the gate 30 seconds before he walked out of the gate. Phew!





I helped by keeping Sebastian's sunglasses safe while he got his luggage.



We were lucky to be able to stay at my in-law's cabin in Black Canyon, which is in the middle of the desert.

From the deck:


Trying to be cute:


In the Front Yard:



On the drive home we stopped at Montezuma Castle. This home was built by the Sinagua (which means "Without Water" in Spanish) around AD 1100 and is about 2 hours North of Phoenix. It's always nice to check out the local culture. We stopped here the last time we were in Phoenix two years ago, but we had forgotten the camera, so we had to come again.

Introducing: The Wedding Planner

*I apologize in advance for the long post*

Let me tell you about my job. Not my full-time Corporate Event Coordinator job, but my "part-time" wedding planner job. I have recently been accused of doing a job that "anyone can do" and of being a "cultural hall decorator" (which was said disdainfully and thus I take to mean that they think I have low quality decorations and no taste). In this post I hope to be able to enlighten my friends and family about what I am actually committing to when I take on a client. Hopefully I don't bore you to death with the tedious details. My job is a lot more complicated than simply putting up Christmas lights in a cultural hall.

I love, absolutely love, being a wedding planner/decorator. It has become a major passion in my life. My absolute goal is to always make the wedding better than the bride imagined it would be. Sometimes I am limited by the bride herself, but I strive nonetheless. If some of the weddings I have done are less than perfection it is only because I have been restrained by clients with small budgets and low expectations. I get giddy when a bride leaves a consultation really excited for her wedding. It means that I have done my job right and am earning my paycheck.

I have discovered that in order to be good at my job, I need to be really in-tune with my perceptive skills.

Before each consultation I take a careful study of what outfit I should wear. Because I have already figured out what kind of a person they are, I try to dress in a way that will gain the confidence and respect of my potential client (a consultation is simply a long, fancy advertisement to convince people to "buy my product"). I can tell when some brides want an over-the-top planner, like the ones they see on TV, and so I dress in classy (expensive-looking) black with modern accents. Some brides are shy and afraid of being intimidated. These people I try to connect with on a friend level and will wear trouser jeans with a hip blouse and dangling earrings.

Between the time I first talk to them on the phone and when we meet for a consultation, I need to have already developed a sense of who they are and what they want. In most cases I have only talked to them for about 10 minutes on the phone before they show up at my house. However, 8 out of 10 times I know which backdrop they will love and choose before showing them a single picture. I judge how well I am doing by how many pictures I need to show them during a consultation.

This is all before they even sign a contract! Getting a client to sign and commit is the number one, hardest part of the job but once it's signed, we celebrate. Getting a sale is cause for celebration for anyone in this tough economy.

With a signed contract and deposit in hand, I then proceed to buy the most expensive looking materials for the cheapest price. I am a highly-valued club member of Roberts, Michael's, and JoAnn's. I always shop with a 40-50% off coupon in my hand and at Robert's the cashiers know me as "the wedding decorator". I roam up and down aisles that I have been up and down dozens of times, trying to get my mind to work up a better way to make something new. At Michael's the staff now know that I'm not lost and that I will probably bug them about getting in 15 vases when they only have 2 in stock.

The week before a wedding I go crazy. Literally. I have 3 different lists and my work load ranges between 3-15 hours of last minute projects. If I am lucky the boxes are loaded, in the car with minutes to spare before driving at break-neck speeds to get to the venue on time. Once we are at the venue things are great if it is only me and my crew there. If family or (heaven-forbid) the bride herself is there, the stress level jumps about 10 notches. The average wedding takes about 3 hours to set-up, despite the fact that we run everywhere we go and I have 3 helpers. It just takes a lot of time. Sadly, about 2 hours of that I am standing on a ladder with my arms above my head trying not to poke wire underneath my fingernails.

Once the wedding is set-up I breathe a sigh of relief and pray nobody touches anything until I return that evening. I have been known to seriously lose my cool if I return to clean up and find tablecloths on the floor and LED lights missing. I just remembered that I forgot to include that clause on my contract: "Everything stays where it is until Elegantly Expressed returns to clean up that evening. I don't care if you ended 2 hours earlier than you thought, that is not my problem. You will sit and wait until I arrive before you even THINK of touching a table or a pillar."

Each wedding I do brings an immense satisfaction. I love being a part of the most important day in most couple's lives. It is a blessing to be able to contribute to their happiness.

So thanks for those of you who support me with encouraging words and positive comments. And those of you who think I am an amateur? Please tell me if you find anyone more devoted to their job than I am.

Shar's Wedding

I have known Sharylann for years, we used to work together planning conferences and workshops for a university. Her wedding was so exciting to plan, and it was a blast to be able to take part in all of the preparations.

Shar's colors were red and black with a real modern twist on traditional elegance. I think this wedding actually turned out to be one of my favorite's. We put up our most popular backdrop, draped it in gorgeous red (just like the for the Valentine's Dance) but I added some extra swag to the front to create a more graceful effect. To add a modern twist, I also added red and black spangle branches that I used in the centerpieces. It really tied the room together nicely.

The backdrop behind the cake was draped in black with a shiny red ribbon running through it. I loved it! It turned out perfectly . :)

In a clever attempt to decorate a blank wall, we put up large frames, scrapbook paper, and Shar's bridal pictures to create a collage effect and dress it up a bit. In the end it really added a lot to the room. Kudos go to Alisyn for making it look so awesome. This was her project and she mastered it. What would I do without her?

On top of decorations, we also provided two fountains, one chocolate and one nacho cheese, oh and of course the punch fountain. I have to tell you how much the guests raved about the food! I even found comments on Facebook about how great it was. :)

All in all, it was a really fun event. In the end it's really all about making the day as perfect as possible for the couple getting married, and it's always wonderful to have a hand in that.

Main Backdrop:


Cake Backdrop:



Pictures on the Wall:


The Tables:


The Room:


Finally, the food..somehow the chocolate fountain didn't make it into this picture, oh well: