Just One of Those Blah Days

Lately I've been just a little bit bummed. I feel like I don't really fit in anywhere outside of my home. There are all these little groups around me and I am by myself. I'll give you a few examples:

In my ward: I am one of maybe 5 women in the ward (and that includes the very newly married) who doesn't have children and is not pregnant. Plus, most women don't work, so they find it inconvenient when I tell them I can't help cause I work full time. They have their little click-ish play groups and spend all day talking and eating homemade cookies while they watch their kids play.

In my family: My sister is getting married in November. All the girls (except me) are bridesmaids and my brothers are groomsmen and they are all wearing matchy matchy outfits. I was told it didn't matter what I wore, and by that I take it to mean it doesn't matter if I am even there. I understand that married women are not bridesmaids, but I still feel incredibly left out.

My friends: Okay, first of all, I don't see my friends very often but when I do the talk is all about babies and kids etc. Which is fine, I love babies and kids, I just don't have any of my own to proudly display and discuss.

At work: I just feel awkward. I feel like people don't get my jokes or my personality and my comments are not funny and fall flat. I also feel like my opinions don't matter and that I don't have enough experience to be taken seriously.


I don't know, maybe it's just been a blah day and the craziness of this week is wearing me down. I may be overreacting, but I don't feel like I am.

Today's Self Awareness Moment

Do you ever find that there are things that you need to do that you absolutely dread and then when you finally get around to doing that horrible thing, you realize how much you love it?

Weird, huh? So what was all the fuss about? I think it has something to do with the lies that we tell ourselves. You know, those little things that you convince yourself are true but deep down you know they aren't?

This weekend was very progressive for me because I had two separate self realization moments about things I was dreading but turned out that I really enjoyed. Once I realized the truth I was able to inspect why I had been telling myself the lies. It appears that they were lies of convenience, it is just easier to believe the lies than to face the truth. Sound familiar to anyone else? Now that I have the awareness of the lies, I can obliterate them from my mind. It won't be automatic, they are ingrained in my mind and my habits. However, very few things are actually impossible, so there is a good chance that I will succeed.

I wonder what other lies I am telling myself?

Opinion Leaders

My company has a new book out entitled, "Influencer". In correlation with this book, they are also offering trainings on how to become an Influencer. Everyone in the company must take the course, and last week was my turn. It was a good class, focusing on goals and changing something you haven't been successful at changing (there were many things on my list). You can pretty much count on hearing more about this topic later. However, one of the concepts that stuck out to me the most wasn't even a main topic. It was all about convincing Opinion Leaders to go along with your idea, and thus change something in your company, family, etc.

Okay, so I honestly didn't care much about convincing opinion leaders, I just wanted to become one. An opinion leader is someone whose opinion is valued by everyone around him. An opinion leader is sought out by his friends and colleagues and is highly valued and respected.

Wouldn't it be cool to be someone that everyone goes to for ideas, input, and opinions? It's not really the idea of being popular that appeals to me, it's the idea that of being perceived as being knowledgeable and wise in your circle of influence.

If you are like me, you will want to know how to become an opinion leader. Here are some steps to achieving that goal:
First, you have to possess a great deal of knowledge in the issue at hand. Second, you have to be trustworthy and care more about other people's best interests so you are not seen as manipulative. Lastly, you have to be generous with your time. Take time to talk to others and be accessible.
If you do these things correctly, you will be both respected and connected. :) *(Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan, Switzler; Influencer; pg 153-154)



**By the way, these authors are experts. They are also my bosses, the top CEO's, or as we call them, "The Authors". On Monday, two of them took me and 2 other new people out to lunch to get to know us and see what we thought of the company. They instantly won my respect and it was nice to see people practice what they preach.

Onward and Upward

Yesterday was my twenty-fifth birthday (let's just take a moment to say that I am feeling old). Upon reviewing the state of my life, I realized that the majority of the goals I had set for myself had already been accomplished. Thinking this, I wanted to feel amazing, and to an extent I am a bit surprised at what I've done lately. However, I am also afraid that perhaps the best of my life is behind me. Have I hit the climax of my life? These are some of the goals I have accomplished in the past two years:

-Graduate from college with honors
-Buy a NEW car
-Buy a home
-Become a gourmet cook
-Travel to Europe
-Marry an amazing man
-Start a small business

Now I need some new goals for the new phase of my life. While teaching student success I told my students that a goal not written down and not shared with others is non-existent. Therefore, I am now writing down and sharing some of my new goals that I want to accomplish in the next two years (hopefully sooner):

-Become respected, well-liked, and a desired member of the team at work
-Have my small business pay for itself
-Learn how to make wedding cakes
-Be more of a contributing member on my podcast
-Make a real quilt
-Sing in front of a real audience again

With these aspirations in mind and hoping to find success, I am reminded of a paragraph from one of the best books I have ever read:

"Don't aim at success -- the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run -- in the long-run, I say! -- success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it."

~ Viktor Frankl, from Man's Search for Meaning

History May Be Taught: Part V (Final Installment)

Sunday, June 22, we were a tuckered out by then and we accidentally slept in instead of going to church. We had a lazy morning and finally made our way to the British Museum. It felt like we had taken a trip around the world. We explored artifacts from ancient Egypt, Assyria, Babylon and other places all around the globe. It was marvelous!

Alexander with an Assyrian Guardian-Diety:


The Gates of an Ancient Assyrian City:


Jen with an Egyptian Sarcophagus Lid:



Monday, June 23, was our last day in London. We trooped down to Trafalgar Square just to see it, then we got on a bus to go to St. Paul’s Cathedral. It was amazing! It has a huge dome in the center, and the interior is covered in gold and colorful mosaics. This was the building that Truman Angel studied to get ideas on how to build the Salt Lake Temple, and interestingly, I could really see the similarities on the interior on the building. Many of the patterns and coloring were the same as in the temple. Jennifer hiked up the hundreds of stairs up the dome to the tip top of the building while Alexander and I enjoyed watching the Anglican version of the sacrament preformed by the priest. I was very grateful for how we do it, with individual cups and pieces of bread.







After a meal that was way too expensive, we went to Harrods, the world’s most famous (and possibly most expensive) department store. We wandered around just long enough to get sick of the heavily perfumed air and left to attend what Jennifer had been looking forward to for years: “Wicked”.

That’s right, we went to the London musical hit, “Wicked”. It was amazing! We got our tickets from an official discount vendor for half price and had awesome seats. The show had us spell bound. I highly recommend it.





We flew back home on Tuesday, June 24, spending about 20 hours either on a plane or at an airport and arrived home in the middle of the night, completely exhausted.
We had a blast, but we are also so glad to be back home. :)

History May Be Taught: Part: IV

Saturday, June 21, we hopped onto the Underground (which was about 50 ft from our hotel) and rode into central London for our first day in the big city. We went everywhere! We walked out of the underground station and were suddenly confronted by Big Ben directly in front of us! It was the best welcome I could imagine!





We walked past the Houses of Parliament to Westminster Abbey where we saw the tombstones of Britain’s most famous individuals.





We then walked to Buckingham Palace just in time to see the changing of the mounted guard, which wasn’t as great as Jen had expected. There were a ton of people cause they were waiting for a parade.





We then went to the Tower of London and had a tour with the most amazing Beefeater I had ever heard of. He reminded me of a Shakespearean actor and was highly entertaining. We saw the Crown Jewels and the torture room and all the neat things in between.





After the Tower we got on a boat and rode down the Thames underneath Tower Bridge to the O2 (a super cool hangout with clubs, restaurants, shops, concerts, etc) in Greenwich. At the O2 Neil Diamond was giving a concert and we were just in time, except. We decided to pass that up and instead we went to the King Tut exhibit which displayed the treasures of King Tut’s tomb. It was a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

History May Be Taught: Part III

Friday, June 20, we said goodbye to Nanny. It was quite sad to see her crying as we pulled away from the curb. I think she is worried she won't see Alexander again as she is 88 years old and her health is continually getting worse. She is a quirky lady, but we will miss her.

Alexander and Nanny:


We traveled with Aunt Valerie to Arundel Castle where we toured the old ancient keep. We were able to ramble and climb where we wanted and I quickly decided that climbing up and down the tiny narrow staircases all day would have ensured my death by falling down the stairs. Arundel castle was the site of a siege during a civil war in the 1640’s so the castle was decked out as it may have been back then. It was fascinating.

Arundel Castle from Below:


Jen on the Railing Inside the Keep:


Looking Down From the Walls of the Keep:


Later that day we traveled in the greater London area into a suburb called Hounslow where our hotel was. We arrived on train to discover a deserted train station in the middle of nowhere. Hounslow is a hodge-podge of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Eastern European ethnicities. We were about the only white people in sight. To our dismay we wandered around for an hour hauling all of our luggage until we finally stumbled through the door of our bed and breakfast. We were thankful to find a tidy, clean room with three little beds and friendly staff. We were so exhausted we didn't even venture out to find dinner, we just sank into our beds and slept.