Mid-Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis: a profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life history of an organism. We are in the middle, waiting to see what we become.

One week and counting and I am starting to get a tad panicky. I reserved our rental truck and bought plane tickets back to Utah for our moving helpers, so that's good. However, I still don't have a job (no one has even called me about all the ones I applied for, talk about a self-esteem crusher) and we don't even have a house to move into yet. Yikes! We are working with a real estate/property management agent who is sifting through the good neighborhoods for a decent place to live in our price range. He just called and it sounds like an extra miracle might be needed to get where we need to be.

My house is still a disaster and I seriously don't know how it will get all packed up. Why do we have so much stuff and where did it all come from?! I think I need to blame all those really nice people who gave us wedding presents.

On top of all those worries, I have two weddings to decorate this weekend. Yes, I know, you can say it out loud: I am a moron. Hopefully they go better than the one did last weekend (I almost ruined this girl's wedding day....for real).

Oh well. If nothing else, my life will be really interesting for the next few weeks.

YARD SALE

This past week I had to turn down a couple of requests for weddings and had to put a sad goodbye on the business website and blog. It crushed me.

In other news, we are having a HUGE YARD SALE this Saturday, July 31 starting at 8:00am. We are selling a lot of wedding things: centerpieces, vases, tablecloths, etc. We also have a really nice punching bag, lots of kitchen appliances (brand new electric knives, blenders, hand mixers) and lots of other things in great condition. If you are interested in anything listed, let me know. Also, pass on the word to your friends, we seriously need to get rid of this stuff. The address is 436 South 900 East Spanish Fork.

Summer 2010

I've been MIA for the past few..uh..months I guess. Life has gotten so crazy for me, I barely have time to reflect on any of it.

Back in May we were informed that Alexander got accepted in the Masters History program at the University of Missouri Kansas City. It's a wonderful school with an excellent program. This felt like an enormous miracle at the time and we were ecstatic. Then, suddenly, the realization of it all set in and I was an emotional mess for a few weeks. It struck me that we would have to move out of our lovely home, I have to quit my job, close the wedding business, say goodbye to my family and friends, and just leave. Ugh, just typing this makes me cry. Frankly, the whole thing is devastating to me.

Despite the random tears, I know that this is what we are supposed to do. Apparently I haven't learned everything I need to yet, so the Lord has decided to send me far away from my comfort zone. I know that it will be an adventure and that I will get a taste for a different kind of life. Maybe I will have more opportunities in Kansas City. I don't know; all I know is that I have to go.

To distract me, I have kept myself incredibly busy. I've had a lot of weddings that have turned out really nicely. Plus, we were able to go on a road-trip with our awesome friends out to Nauvoo. We stopped in Kansas City on the way to check out the campus and the city. It's a gorgeous place, and the school looks amazing. Hopefully that will compensate for what we are leaving behind. The coolest part of the trip was the tornado we saw in central Illinois.



I started packing the house up last week. I realized that I don't have many weekends left and most of those weekends involve weddings. I've gone into a sort of panic mode I think and Alexander is afraid I will throw everything out. A yard sale is seriously in order because I refuse to take a bunch of junk across the country with me.

Also on the agenda is searching for a new job. I have applied for 3 jobs out there that I would be perfect for, but haven't heard back from any of them yet. I expect to be applying for many more. Additionally, we don't have a place to live yet, so my stress levels are running rather high. I have nightmares of having to live in a tiny house full of cockroaches in a neighborhood filled with gang-bangers. If this should happen, I will probably fly home and sleep on my parent's couch for a while. ;)

In all seriousness, your prayers would be appreciated the next few weeks. Thanks for all the good wishes and support that have been sent my way and I promise to be better at updating this blog.

Yay Me!

I just needed to share a personal, yet major, accomplishment with all of you. I have been doing my own taxes (with the help of some software) since I was 18. In the past it only took a short amount of time to fill them out, submit them and then rack in the refunds. Last year was a tiny bit more difficult with the addition of the wedding business, but since we didn't make much money, taxes weren't really much of an issue.

This time around, however, I am pleased to announce that Elegantly Expressed had a great year in 2009 and we surprisingly made some money. I did not wish to pay more in taxes than I actually made though. Therefore, I spent upwards of 14 hours (2 whole Saturdays!) working on paper work, sorting receipts, adding up utility bills, calculating miles, etc. I then spent a couple more hours putting all the data into itemized deductions. In the end, I am pleased that my efforts paid off and I am actually receiving a small refund.

When I hit the submit button I was so proud of myself! I couldn't believe that I had waded through the financial wording and 30,000 documents to really succeed in doing my own taxes! I felt like this was a major big deal for the girl who nearly flunked pre-calculus in high school. Plus, it gave me hope that I might actually be capable of owning my own business.

I now understand what I am up against and have started a system to make it easier on myself next year. I am organizing my expenses differently and starting a new spreadsheet before the crazy summer hits and hopefully next year things will work out even better!

I don't usually pat myself on the back, but this time I can't help it. YAY ME!

Silly Anna

Alexander always says, "Silly Anna, Trix are for kids". Despite this or maybe because of it, I had Fruity Swirl Trix for breakfast yesterday.

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Just last week we got TV back in our house again after it had been absent for about 6 months and already I have a confession to make.

I stay up late to watch............. PBS Sprout. That's right, I watch TV for toddlers. Some of you may be thinking that it isn't so weird, that you watch it too. However, I am willing to wager that 100% of you are moms of toddlers.

Last night I had every intention to go to bed early. However, my husband turned on the TV and I ended up watching "The Goodnight Show" with singing muppets and British cartoons. I was enthralled. Apparently, when I am tired, I have the same mentality as a three year-old (coincidentally, Alexander has been teasing me about this for years). Anyway, my new favorite cartoons are Kipper (I love the baby pig, "Ahnold") and Noddy (I would love it more if the British accents hadn't been dubbed over by dumb American accents).

I think the moral of the story is that when you are buying me a birthday present this year but don't know what I would like, just ask yourself if a three year old would like it. If the answer is yes, then you can be pretty certain that I will probably adore it :)

A Little Too Eager

This morning I woke up and looked at the clock, saw that it was 7:30 and freaked out that my alarm didn't go off. I jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom to get ready for work. After getting half ready and as I was just finishing up my hair, I remembered that I was supposed to wake Alexander up so that the cable guy could come at 8:00 to fix our TV (we haven't had TV for 6 months). So I ran in the bedroom and yelled "Wake up! You have to get up and shower!"

"What? Not right now!"

I looked at the clock so I could tell him exactly how many minutes he didn't have to shower and saw that it was still the middle of the night. What? I was stumped. I guess I was just a little too eager to get up for work today. I just stood there in shock for a moment before I decided that I didn't want to be up that early and I got back in bed.

Seriously, I can't figure out how my eyes and brain did not communicate with each other. I could swear the clock said 7:30 when I woke up. I was happy for the "extra" sleep, but I did not appreciate fixing my hair twice this morning.

Deborah

Last Saturday I broke all my own rules and expectations and went with some of my co-workers to participate in the Rex Lee Run. This is a 5k/10k run/walk fundraiser that raises money for cancer research. Participants are also welcome to contribute extra in the name of a cancer victim or survivor and wear their name in the race.

I have never participated in a 5k before, not even walking. It goes against my most firmly held belief that other people don't want to see me exercise. However, since I have broken this rule quite consistently lately by attending my aerobic classes I figured I could walk a couple miles. No sweat, right? Well...mostly. I forgot my ankle brace and thus ended up slowing my very nice friends down. I did surprising well without the brace, but I was sore later.

My real motivation in doing the race was for my husband and honoring his mother in the race. I know a lot of wonderful people that I could have honored instead, but I felt they would understand.

Alexander's mother was Deborah Alvord Strub. She was an extremely accomplished classically trained operatic soprano and had a double master's from ASU in music and pedagogy.

After finishing at ASU, she traveled to England for four years to study voice under a very famous instructor. One night she preformed at the Hyde Park Chapel and was so outstanding that a certain young man, Peter, in the audience couldn't leave without speaking to her. Peter courted her the rest of the time she was in England but she was forced to leave when her visa expired. Distraught that he hadn't proposed while she was still there, Peter proposed to Deborah in a letter and mailed it to Arizona where she was staying with her family. When the letter arrived her family tried to convince her not to open it (they were afraid he would break her heart again). However, she did open it and accepted his proposal. He then came to the US to marry her.

Soon after they were married they had Alexander and then 6 years after that, Sebastian. Deborah was a devoted mother who magnified her talents as a voice instructor in the community as well as an organist and choir director in her church for many years.

When Alexander was a teenager she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, an incredibly painful and incurable disease. It starts as a tumor with no symptoms and by the time symptoms have developed enough for it to be found, it is usually too late for survival. Because of this, 95% of individuals diagnosed with pancreatic cancer will die within 5 years.

Deborah fought a brave battle, undergoing all sorts of treatments to stave off the inevitable. Regardless of her illness, she encouraged Alexander to go on a mission and so he left in October 2001. He was blessed to be serving in the Salt Lake City mission under Pres. Richard Hinckley (son of Gordon B. Hinckley). When his mother was very close to the end of her life, Alexander was given the special option to spend a few days with her living or to attend her funeral. He chose to see her and was quickly sent down to spend a few days with his family. His mother was so proud of her missionary and only lamented that she hadn't had time to teach him how to be a good husband.

What Deborah may not have realized is that with her entire life she taught her sons how to be great men. She infused Alexander with her love of music and family and taught him kindness, sincerity, humility, and compassion. She also encouraged him to go after his dreams and to take advantage of the wonderful things life has to offer. She taught him true forgiveness and repentance as she spent many months praying so that she would be ready to face the next step in her progression after death. Of course, with all of these wonderful traits, Alexander didn't need to be taught how to be a good husband, he was already great.

Deborah passed away on February 4, 2002 after battling cancer for more than 2 years. She left this earth too early for me to ever meet her, but I imagine that we would have been wonderful friends and that she would have helped me continue my own pursuits by teaching me voice and piano. I think the best compliment Alexander has ever given me is, "My mother would have really liked you". The first time I met Alexander's grandmother she played a recording of Deborah singing "O Divine Redeemer". I've never heard it's equal and it brought tears to my eyes.

So Deborah, in the time between now and when I meet you face to face, I promise to take care of your boy, Alexander, and to love him as much as you would have wished. The best way for me to honor your memory is to love those that you loved and to take care of them when you can't. I pray I can live up to the task.