Deborah

Last Saturday I broke all my own rules and expectations and went with some of my co-workers to participate in the Rex Lee Run. This is a 5k/10k run/walk fundraiser that raises money for cancer research. Participants are also welcome to contribute extra in the name of a cancer victim or survivor and wear their name in the race.

I have never participated in a 5k before, not even walking. It goes against my most firmly held belief that other people don't want to see me exercise. However, since I have broken this rule quite consistently lately by attending my aerobic classes I figured I could walk a couple miles. No sweat, right? Well...mostly. I forgot my ankle brace and thus ended up slowing my very nice friends down. I did surprising well without the brace, but I was sore later.

My real motivation in doing the race was for my husband and honoring his mother in the race. I know a lot of wonderful people that I could have honored instead, but I felt they would understand.

Alexander's mother was Deborah Alvord Strub. She was an extremely accomplished classically trained operatic soprano and had a double master's from ASU in music and pedagogy.

After finishing at ASU, she traveled to England for four years to study voice under a very famous instructor. One night she preformed at the Hyde Park Chapel and was so outstanding that a certain young man, Peter, in the audience couldn't leave without speaking to her. Peter courted her the rest of the time she was in England but she was forced to leave when her visa expired. Distraught that he hadn't proposed while she was still there, Peter proposed to Deborah in a letter and mailed it to Arizona where she was staying with her family. When the letter arrived her family tried to convince her not to open it (they were afraid he would break her heart again). However, she did open it and accepted his proposal. He then came to the US to marry her.

Soon after they were married they had Alexander and then 6 years after that, Sebastian. Deborah was a devoted mother who magnified her talents as a voice instructor in the community as well as an organist and choir director in her church for many years.

When Alexander was a teenager she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, an incredibly painful and incurable disease. It starts as a tumor with no symptoms and by the time symptoms have developed enough for it to be found, it is usually too late for survival. Because of this, 95% of individuals diagnosed with pancreatic cancer will die within 5 years.

Deborah fought a brave battle, undergoing all sorts of treatments to stave off the inevitable. Regardless of her illness, she encouraged Alexander to go on a mission and so he left in October 2001. He was blessed to be serving in the Salt Lake City mission under Pres. Richard Hinckley (son of Gordon B. Hinckley). When his mother was very close to the end of her life, Alexander was given the special option to spend a few days with her living or to attend her funeral. He chose to see her and was quickly sent down to spend a few days with his family. His mother was so proud of her missionary and only lamented that she hadn't had time to teach him how to be a good husband.

What Deborah may not have realized is that with her entire life she taught her sons how to be great men. She infused Alexander with her love of music and family and taught him kindness, sincerity, humility, and compassion. She also encouraged him to go after his dreams and to take advantage of the wonderful things life has to offer. She taught him true forgiveness and repentance as she spent many months praying so that she would be ready to face the next step in her progression after death. Of course, with all of these wonderful traits, Alexander didn't need to be taught how to be a good husband, he was already great.

Deborah passed away on February 4, 2002 after battling cancer for more than 2 years. She left this earth too early for me to ever meet her, but I imagine that we would have been wonderful friends and that she would have helped me continue my own pursuits by teaching me voice and piano. I think the best compliment Alexander has ever given me is, "My mother would have really liked you". The first time I met Alexander's grandmother she played a recording of Deborah singing "O Divine Redeemer". I've never heard it's equal and it brought tears to my eyes.

So Deborah, in the time between now and when I meet you face to face, I promise to take care of your boy, Alexander, and to love him as much as you would have wished. The best way for me to honor your memory is to love those that you loved and to take care of them when you can't. I pray I can live up to the task.